Feeling much better since Tuesday thanks to friends with logic and late night chats :) I did get another sms Wednesday basically thanking me for f'ing up his life and making him lose everything including his job. Whether he has actually lost his job or not I don't know, I did not respond and won't be doing so. Any shit he's in is self inflicted, and I'm finally starting to feel and beleive that it isn't my responsibility.
Wendy came up after that sms and asked if I wanted to go to the park with her and we took the digs along - turns out there is an orsm park a 5 minute drive from here and it's really cool. Nice large expanse of grass and tress and it is elevated which provides a good view of the area. That was nice to see - I often get rather sick of the fact that this town is so f'n flat .... the horizon looks so unfinished after being used to mountains most of my adult life.
Also been going to the gym regularly and am enjoying it again; nice to be active. Work seems to be on the verge of doing well, I just need to keep pushing. Meeting tomorrow so hopefully I can get some business back on track again and some new lines listed.
I haven't been doing any gaming at all - must get back to that. Reading has also fallen by the wayside for the most part, I tend to just read when I go to sleep at the moment. I blame the internet. I've gotten ridiculously hooked on Frontierville - damn you Zynga!!! LOL Also started chatting to somebody I "met" via Badoo - very cool ex Capetonian now living in the UK. I suppose I like the safety of chatting to somebody far away - it's safe :) Has a great sense of humour and very similar tastes and ways of thinking. Of course that could be BS but as it's all imagination and online anyway it makes no difference to me - it's just good clean fun :)
Still missing Warwick, or at least the idea of Warwick / somebody who is just that comfortable to be around with no expectations placed on you is a breath of fresh air.
Hmmmm... looks like I'll be going to bed now after all - was debating watching some more telly, but the power has just gone out. Thanks Eskom! Candle is lit and I have approximately an hour or two (I never recall) on this battery. Proably best just to get into bed and see if I'm ale to read by candle light.
Sweet dreams all :)
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Memories...
It's been a rough two days / nights for me. I'm thinking about Michael a lot lately. Not in the sense that I want him back - in the sense that there's an awesome fun loving person buried in that sick shell that should be out in the world and isn't. It kills me to see such a waste.
And I discovered last night, while looking for a specific photo, that I still cannot look at the wedding photo's without breaking down. I still haven't watched the wedding video... I have no idea when I'll actually be able to do that. I cannot reconcile that him with this him. It's just too sad.
And there's still that occassional doubt that lingers - did I abandon somebody selfishly that I could've fixed / helped? I guess I'll never know. But then I still maintain that you can't fix somebody without them wanting to fix themselves, so I guess that answers that question.
I need to snap out of this.
And I discovered last night, while looking for a specific photo, that I still cannot look at the wedding photo's without breaking down. I still haven't watched the wedding video... I have no idea when I'll actually be able to do that. I cannot reconcile that him with this him. It's just too sad.
And there's still that occassional doubt that lingers - did I abandon somebody selfishly that I could've fixed / helped? I guess I'll never know. But then I still maintain that you can't fix somebody without them wanting to fix themselves, so I guess that answers that question.
I need to snap out of this.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Cool eve, but slightly miffed atm
Wendy has kindly taken pappi into their home while I was out for the eve which is orsm as it's much nicer to have her warm and with her buddy Lily; but I'm miffed to get home to having my dog locked up in their house. Pappi keeps me warm and company while I am sleeping :( Anyway....
Was a cool eve at Reen's having a braai which was as always really tasty and I made a kick ass green salad (sprouts, red & yellow peppers, calamata olives, feta, rocket, baby spinach, onion). Played some Xboxen with Eugene and I possibly crossed a boundary there, but not giving a shit anymore is quite handy LOL.
Muscles are sore after being back at Curves and I'm struggling with sleep patterns and tiredness but it will setlle once I get into things I think - just glad to actually be back at gym :)
Work seems to be going well; will know for definite by end of next week I hope. It's been a cool week work wise and I'm keen to keep the momentum going :)
As it is now 6:13 am and the sun is rising, it is probably time for me to go to bed. I spent over an hour attempting to find Doors; alas, no luck. They were probably closed anyway; but I still enjoyed the drive :) So, bed, no POI. I'll make up for it, I promise!
Was a cool eve at Reen's having a braai which was as always really tasty and I made a kick ass green salad (sprouts, red & yellow peppers, calamata olives, feta, rocket, baby spinach, onion). Played some Xboxen with Eugene and I possibly crossed a boundary there, but not giving a shit anymore is quite handy LOL.
Muscles are sore after being back at Curves and I'm struggling with sleep patterns and tiredness but it will setlle once I get into things I think - just glad to actually be back at gym :)
Work seems to be going well; will know for definite by end of next week I hope. It's been a cool week work wise and I'm keen to keep the momentum going :)
As it is now 6:13 am and the sun is rising, it is probably time for me to go to bed. I spent over an hour attempting to find Doors; alas, no luck. They were probably closed anyway; but I still enjoyed the drive :) So, bed, no POI. I'll make up for it, I promise!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Productivenessnessness
Been getting quite a bit of work done lately business wise and at the cottage - finally managed to clean thsi place up properly and vacuum carpets etc after the bombshell that was teh bday braai has hit it. Also Siggy dug up the curtains for the kitchen which I put up this morn, so I now have actual privacy and stuffs wich is orsm :)
Today went back to gym finally - found a Curves that's very close by and enjoyed my workout which no doubt I will suffer like all hell for tomorrow. Was also terribly proud that I managed that today after having quite a bit of wine and a beer and some Jarger last night while watching the Germany vs Spain match with Wendy and fam last night. Wendy made a feast of food to eat; was fun :)
Earlier in the week was somewhat annoying dealing with the nutcase ex bf, but I eventrually lost my patience and put him in his place with a scathing e-mail repsonse and now I think officially I can expect not to hear from him again :)
In not so great news the ex hubby is not doing so great at all - pretty much adopted a "waiting to die" attitude. sent my response which was pretty much "your choice, get off your arse and change it" and now I'm just staying out of it. Drama and myself just don't mix these days, sorry. I'm not a person fixer upper anymore.
Must get to bed at a decent hour tonight - breakfast with boss at 8am then meeting with buyer and boss at 11am :)
POI for today? I have no fucking clue tbh. Let me go find something quick....
*time lapse*
Aaaah, here ya go - a 1:1 Gundam built in Japan that'll be up until March 2011. ORSM.
Today went back to gym finally - found a Curves that's very close by and enjoyed my workout which no doubt I will suffer like all hell for tomorrow. Was also terribly proud that I managed that today after having quite a bit of wine and a beer and some Jarger last night while watching the Germany vs Spain match with Wendy and fam last night. Wendy made a feast of food to eat; was fun :)
Earlier in the week was somewhat annoying dealing with the nutcase ex bf, but I eventrually lost my patience and put him in his place with a scathing e-mail repsonse and now I think officially I can expect not to hear from him again :)
In not so great news the ex hubby is not doing so great at all - pretty much adopted a "waiting to die" attitude. sent my response which was pretty much "your choice, get off your arse and change it" and now I'm just staying out of it. Drama and myself just don't mix these days, sorry. I'm not a person fixer upper anymore.
Must get to bed at a decent hour tonight - breakfast with boss at 8am then meeting with buyer and boss at 11am :)
POI for today? I have no fucking clue tbh. Let me go find something quick....
*time lapse*
Aaaah, here ya go - a 1:1 Gundam built in Japan that'll be up until March 2011. ORSM.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Birthday week officially over :)
Saturday was a blur but orsm fun - flight was delayed by a half hour so it was cutting it rather fine for my bday braai to start at 7 to get
everything ready, but Charlene was champion in getting evverything arranged and pretty much arrived with everything required :) It was an entertaining evening to say the least, but nothing bad or untoward in that respect, just a good piss up with friends.
I got home to two bunches of roses - one pink from Nina and one from her "interest" Daron which was very sweet. Also, entire cottage, stairs and all walls painted fresh crisp white and entire surrounding garden and brickwork cleaned up for braai. LOL, Wendy and Siggy are just plain fucking ORSM.
Yesterday had to go get Engelbert from Guy's place; he stayed over (too much of a risk to drive home drunk on scooter hahahaha) so we went off to Brightwater and I had 1/2kg prawns and then we went to go get Engelbert. Never thought I'd miss a rodent, but I did. Poor little bugger was just itching to be let out of his cage to run around a bit.
After that just uploaded photies from CT dinner and from Saturday's braai and then got an urge to clean out my "friends" list on Facebook, so did that til about 12. Always a problem for me after a heavy night, if I get up early I tend to just get over tired and keep on missioning til the wee hours of the next morn (and yes, still happening - contrary to what this blog tells you, it is now 12:19am). Bleh. Felt rather buggered this morn still but
managed to get some new work and price lists and catalogues done so that was cool. Also cleaned up the flat and started relocating the borrowed cushions / chairs / blankets to their homes so it looks like less of a midnight shelter now :)
This eve was the dinner with the girls (I attended 1 previously in March iirc) and it was cool. After Shereen and I went to Dros to have a few beers and shots then raced off home as Ian was throwing his topys - Kyle was app screaming. Hopefully she didn't get back to too much of a chilly reception; so funny how men just seem innately incapable of being left alone with a baby (even their own) for any extended period of time.
So now I'm home, buzzing on 2 beers and 3 Jargers ready for a party; alas, this is Jhb, and I have no idea what is open. This town really seems to die early week days but then I probably just don't know weher to go. Ah well, having a beer and will finish off the Sours (read: cooldrink) while listening to my iPod and then go sleep.
POI for today? Hmmmm.I rather like this picture, so have it.
everything ready, but Charlene was champion in getting evverything arranged and pretty much arrived with everything required :) It was an entertaining evening to say the least, but nothing bad or untoward in that respect, just a good piss up with friends.
I got home to two bunches of roses - one pink from Nina and one from her "interest" Daron which was very sweet. Also, entire cottage, stairs and all walls painted fresh crisp white and entire surrounding garden and brickwork cleaned up for braai. LOL, Wendy and Siggy are just plain fucking ORSM.
Yesterday had to go get Engelbert from Guy's place; he stayed over (too much of a risk to drive home drunk on scooter hahahaha) so we went off to Brightwater and I had 1/2kg prawns and then we went to go get Engelbert. Never thought I'd miss a rodent, but I did. Poor little bugger was just itching to be let out of his cage to run around a bit.
After that just uploaded photies from CT dinner and from Saturday's braai and then got an urge to clean out my "friends" list on Facebook, so did that til about 12. Always a problem for me after a heavy night, if I get up early I tend to just get over tired and keep on missioning til the wee hours of the next morn (and yes, still happening - contrary to what this blog tells you, it is now 12:19am). Bleh. Felt rather buggered this morn still but
managed to get some new work and price lists and catalogues done so that was cool. Also cleaned up the flat and started relocating the borrowed cushions / chairs / blankets to their homes so it looks like less of a midnight shelter now :)
This eve was the dinner with the girls (I attended 1 previously in March iirc) and it was cool. After Shereen and I went to Dros to have a few beers and shots then raced off home as Ian was throwing his topys - Kyle was app screaming. Hopefully she didn't get back to too much of a chilly reception; so funny how men just seem innately incapable of being left alone with a baby (even their own) for any extended period of time.
So now I'm home, buzzing on 2 beers and 3 Jargers ready for a party; alas, this is Jhb, and I have no idea what is open. This town really seems to die early week days but then I probably just don't know weher to go. Ah well, having a beer and will finish off the Sours (read: cooldrink) while listening to my iPod and then go sleep.
POI for today? Hmmmm.I rather like this picture, so have it.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Cape Town Trip
It has been orsmness :)
Got to Warwick's at about 11 Monday eve with a cab driver who mistook me for a passenger seat psychologist (why does this always happen to me with cab drivers?!?!) and Tuesday was a bit of a blur as I was dead tired from only getting to sleep at 5am Tuesday morn. Managed to grab a bit of a nap while Warwick was at work so come bday dinner time was all well and ready to go.
We went to Mainland China on Main Road in Claremont and it was great fun - everyone enjoyed their food from what I could tell and was great to see so many friends again I haven't seen in a while. Rae's lift f'd out so she couldn't make it but Warwick seemed comfortable enough with the oddballs I have as friends ultimately, and I am uber glad he went along even though he was "forced" into it by Rae he he he.
List of peeps who came: Nel, Sarita (friend of Nel, met her at Decodance previously), Lyon, Rob, Richard, Terri, Derrick, Stuart, Ian, Roger, Kirsten, Ute, Barry, Danny, Marc. It was a merry crowd and as usual Danny and Marc had the knack of making their end of the table into a gaming / comedic production which was orsm! Laughs all round really from everyone, such a cool bunch of friends I have. Warwick ended up "paying off" some of the staff to let us stay a bit longer as they usually close at 10pm weekdays LOL. We got back to Warwick's place at 11pm as he had to be on stnadby for some work stuff so near a PC - thank F nobody called or they would have had a call placed to two rather drunk people hahahaha.
Wednesday was feeling a bit fragile but had made plans to go out with Ute, so I dragged my butt out of bed and Ute took me to Peddlar's in Constantia where we shared some absolutely divine starters and each had a sinful dessert :)
Thursday morning Tracey met up with me at Cavendish and I got to see Xavier again - I cannot beleive how big that boy has gotten! Still full of smiles and adorable as ever. Thursday afternoon Neil & Waine picked me up and we headed to Forrester's and had some beers and some chilli poppers, and they very sweetly gave me Assassin's Creed for NDS as a bday gift - can't wait to check that out!
Yesterday Rae came round and we walked all over Cavendish and Claremont looking for boots for me (I lost the damn heel of the one boot and it's the only pair I have with me) - I spotted a pair at Europa I really wanted right up until I saw the price - R3200!!!! Fuck me!!! So we went hunting and I found two stunning pairs (black, of course) at Shoe HQ for a total of R870 - much more like it thanks very much. Warwick even approves ;)
Last night Warwick and I played some more L4D and *just* managed to finish a campaign on EASY - L4D2 is *HARD*. Or we just suck. Either way, was fun :)
Today alas is back to Jhb - really looking forward to birthday braai with Jhb peeps this eve, but I am going to miss Warwick and this gorgeous mountain view from his balcony. Ah well, such is life, can't have it all etc etc.
Oh, on some good news front - met with Bert yesterday morn and it appears it is back to business as usual, so time to pull up my socks and get shite done; looking forward to being able to actually work properly again. Also, he and Joyce are planning a trip to Antarctica (lucky buggers!) in January, so at this stage I may just be spedning a month in Cape Town while he is away. I'd drive up of course, so I hope so as that would be cool :)
K, today's POI is a 4 foot paper craft Gundam. There's a vid of it's making compressed to 4 minutes if you hit the link: From Paper to Insane 4 Foot Gundam in 4 Minutes
Got to Warwick's at about 11 Monday eve with a cab driver who mistook me for a passenger seat psychologist (why does this always happen to me with cab drivers?!?!) and Tuesday was a bit of a blur as I was dead tired from only getting to sleep at 5am Tuesday morn. Managed to grab a bit of a nap while Warwick was at work so come bday dinner time was all well and ready to go.
We went to Mainland China on Main Road in Claremont and it was great fun - everyone enjoyed their food from what I could tell and was great to see so many friends again I haven't seen in a while. Rae's lift f'd out so she couldn't make it but Warwick seemed comfortable enough with the oddballs I have as friends ultimately, and I am uber glad he went along even though he was "forced" into it by Rae he he he.
List of peeps who came: Nel, Sarita (friend of Nel, met her at Decodance previously), Lyon, Rob, Richard, Terri, Derrick, Stuart, Ian, Roger, Kirsten, Ute, Barry, Danny, Marc. It was a merry crowd and as usual Danny and Marc had the knack of making their end of the table into a gaming / comedic production which was orsm! Laughs all round really from everyone, such a cool bunch of friends I have. Warwick ended up "paying off" some of the staff to let us stay a bit longer as they usually close at 10pm weekdays LOL. We got back to Warwick's place at 11pm as he had to be on stnadby for some work stuff so near a PC - thank F nobody called or they would have had a call placed to two rather drunk people hahahaha.
Wednesday was feeling a bit fragile but had made plans to go out with Ute, so I dragged my butt out of bed and Ute took me to Peddlar's in Constantia where we shared some absolutely divine starters and each had a sinful dessert :)
Thursday morning Tracey met up with me at Cavendish and I got to see Xavier again - I cannot beleive how big that boy has gotten! Still full of smiles and adorable as ever. Thursday afternoon Neil & Waine picked me up and we headed to Forrester's and had some beers and some chilli poppers, and they very sweetly gave me Assassin's Creed for NDS as a bday gift - can't wait to check that out!
Yesterday Rae came round and we walked all over Cavendish and Claremont looking for boots for me (I lost the damn heel of the one boot and it's the only pair I have with me) - I spotted a pair at Europa I really wanted right up until I saw the price - R3200!!!! Fuck me!!! So we went hunting and I found two stunning pairs (black, of course) at Shoe HQ for a total of R870 - much more like it thanks very much. Warwick even approves ;)
Last night Warwick and I played some more L4D and *just* managed to finish a campaign on EASY - L4D2 is *HARD*. Or we just suck. Either way, was fun :)
Today alas is back to Jhb - really looking forward to birthday braai with Jhb peeps this eve, but I am going to miss Warwick and this gorgeous mountain view from his balcony. Ah well, such is life, can't have it all etc etc.
Oh, on some good news front - met with Bert yesterday morn and it appears it is back to business as usual, so time to pull up my socks and get shite done; looking forward to being able to actually work properly again. Also, he and Joyce are planning a trip to Antarctica (lucky buggers!) in January, so at this stage I may just be spedning a month in Cape Town while he is away. I'd drive up of course, so I hope so as that would be cool :)
K, today's POI is a 4 foot paper craft Gundam. There's a vid of it's making compressed to 4 minutes if you hit the link: From Paper to Insane 4 Foot Gundam in 4 Minutes
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