Updates etc

Work is still stressing the shite out of me... it seems we are on a better path, but it's always hard to tell really. Health is doing better at least, and although it's costing me a proverbial arm and leg, I'm getting shit sorted on that front and feeling much better physically than I have in a while :) Still no contact from the one person I was hoping to hear from after their "swan song" and various proclamations of how they didn't want to lose a friend. HA. HA. HA. Yeah, nice way to show that. On other fronts, a more cynical me has surfaced, but a happier stronger me for the most part. Not entirely thrilled about the cynical bit, but if that's what it takes to stay unhurt for the most part, so be it. Started a "challenge" with Reen & Nel; we're each trying to lose 6kg's by end of the year, so we'll see how that goes :)

This weekend is going to be orsm fun - Marc and Danny here for a bit so I get to see them, and tomorrow night is a forum / birthday dinner for people I don't really know so we'll see how that goes - going in on my own, wish me luck LOL. Doors scheduled for Saturday night, that should be fun, and of course it is rAge and Sexpo this weekend so YAY! Saw The Expendables this eve with Guy & Richard2 which was fun, and had 2 beers after with them so was a good eve all round. Now I'm sitting, at 03:40 in the morn, enjoying some red wine and music on my iPod. Hopefully I'll get tired soon :) Here's to a good weekend ahead!!

:)

So over giving people the benefit of the doubt. Had a good weekend, and had that good weekend with the people I have always known and can count on. As usual, gave certain people a chance, and they stuffed it up. So, for the rest of you, pffffft. Not quite what I want to say, but some kid may happen upon this, so rather not...

Yeah, whatever

This past month has been a fuck up of epic proportions. Work is on the fucking brink of shutting down, causing me endless stress. I still haven't got a copy of my mother's death certificate from my mother's bf, I think I'm in love with a friend who doesn't feel the same way. Yeah, fucking awesome. Missing people I shouldn't miss, and not missing those that think I should miss them. Money, as always, an issue. So fucking sick of trying to make everybody feel like everything is okay. Easy way to deal with that. Just don't talk to people. Fake smile and nod, and just keep relations to a minimum. Doesn't always work, but for the most part, seems to do the trick. I know it is a phase, just tired, as they say - "This too shall pass". Don't get me wrong, have fun times in between - actually had a fun filled eve and day with Reen and Ian today. The problem is, eventually you get home, and you're alone with your thoughts. The past month is showing me who I can and cannot depend on, and it isn't what I thought, so not a pretty picture. Time to realise I give too much, and stop. Easier said than done. I tend to make excuses for those around me. I would say I need somebody about to kick me when this happens, but, knowing me, I'd kick back. LOL. FML right now, seriously. Oh, and fuck all those that I counted on, and weren't there when I needed them.