Sunday, September 19, 2010

Yeah, whatever

This past month has been a fuck up of epic proportions. Work is on the fucking brink of shutting down, causing me endless stress. I still haven't got a copy of my mother's death certificate from my mother's bf, I think I'm in love with a friend who doesn't feel the same way. Yeah, fucking awesome. Missing people I shouldn't miss, and not missing those that think I should miss them. Money, as always, an issue. So fucking sick of trying to make everybody feel like everything is okay. Easy way to deal with that. Just don't talk to people. Fake smile and nod, and just keep relations to a minimum. Doesn't always work, but for the most part, seems to do the trick. I know it is a phase, just tired, as they say - "This too shall pass". Don't get me wrong, have fun times in between - actually had a fun filled eve and day with Reen and Ian today. The problem is, eventually you get home, and you're alone with your thoughts. The past month is showing me who I can and cannot depend on, and it isn't what I thought, so not a pretty picture. Time to realise I give too much, and stop. Easier said than done. I tend to make excuses for those around me. I would say I need somebody about to kick me when this happens, but, knowing me, I'd kick back. LOL. FML right now, seriously. Oh, and fuck all those that I counted on, and weren't there when I needed them.

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